Hold the phone, GTA Online's latest update is actually about, well, Grand Theft Auto
What’s with this stealing in my legal car purchasing simulator?
You won’t believe it, but GTA Online’s latest update revolves around you getting into the business of actually stealing cars. Don’t panic, it also includes some you can buy legally, like the upstanding citizen you’ve become.
Yup, if you’ve been looking for an excuse to hop back into the large amorphous online blob that was once a part of GTA 5, but has since kind of morphed into something quite unique and deeply terrifying following that hype-inducing GTA 6 trailer, it looks like you’re in luck. That is, if you don’t mind doing a bit of stealy wheely automobiley and putting up with the most obnoxious character from GTA 4’s The Ballad of Gay Tony.
The update, dubbed “The Chop Shop”, allows you to “collaborate with illustrious Liberty City real estate mogul and auto enthusiast Yusuf Amir on his newest venture, stealing the most coveted vehicles in Los Santos across a series of daring robberies”.
In order to commit these heinous acts, you’ll need to buy a new business (because of course) in the form of The Salvage Yard. Apparently it’s “low-key enough not to attract suspicion from the authorities, yet equipped with everything you’ll need to pull off breathtaking robberies of the most in-demand vehicles across Southern San Andreas.”
You’ll organise these scores via the yard’s planning wall and, once you’ve pulled them off, you’ll face a choice over whether to gradually break the car you’ve nicked up for valuable auto parts or immediately sell it off for a single lump sum. You can also upgrade whichever of the five yards you’ve bought with things like a tow truck that can be used to grab more parts around town.
Yup, the GTA Online protagonist - criminal mastermind, the richest person in the world...and now a tow truck driver.
The update also comes with a bunch of new cars that you can buy like a normal person using your big car-stealing riches and try out in new drift races, such as the Grotti Turismo Omaggio, Declasse Vigero ZX Convertible, and Vapid Aleutian. You can also gain access to some “highly desirable, off-the-grid law enforcement vehicles” by doing well at Salvage Yard missions.
In other GTA-centric news, the real-world Florida Joker has recently accused Rockstar of using his likeness without consent in GTA 6’s first trailer.